So, I was looking over a list of 13 "beauty don'ts" on The Knot the other day and five of them were just . . . frightening. Eight of them were just fine, mind you, but five of them made me want to drive to The Knot's offices, hold up the list, and say in a calm, measured tone, "Really?!? This is what you think I should be worrying about on the day I marry the love of my life? Priorities, people!"
Without further ado, here are the offenders. I refuse to provide commentary, as their silliness should be self-evident. ;) I will say, though, that I think the last one is the worst by far. Now we have to know how to weep correctly???
1. Don't drink wine or eat dark-colored foods like berries.
Unless you want to capture a stained smile in your wedding photos, you should avoid foods that can tint your pearly whites. To get 'em extra pearly, invest in a professional teeth-whitening service. On a strict budget? "Crest Whitestrips work magic!" says Melissa Roshan of Make-Up by Melissa Roshan in Columbus, Ohio. "Start any whitening regime about one month before the wedding."
6. Don't ingest excess sodium the week before the wedding.
That means no salty foods, sauces, dressings, or salty deli meats. Instead, choose low- or no-sodium everything starting at least seven days before the wedding. "Sodium holds 50 times its weight in water, so you can shed two to five pounds the week before the wedding just by doing this!" says Liz DiAlto of Fit, Healthy and Beautiful in New York City.
8. Don't sit around in your bra the morning of your wedding.
Makeup artist and hair stylist Nicole Francavilla, of Beauty by Nicole in Orange County, New York, says this is the best way to avoid those unsightly pink indents on your back and shoulders (especially if you're wearing a strapless dress!). And if you're wearing your hair up but don't wear your hair up often? "My suggestion is to take an Advil with your breakfast to eliminate the possibility of an updo headache," she says.
11. Don't forget to touch up!
It's okay to be a little high-maintenance -- bring a touch-up bag and actually use the products at the reception. "You may have hired the best makeup and hair professionals you could find, but if you're cutting a rug on the dance floor and drinking Champagne like France is going dry, chances are you'll break a little sweat and your lip color will wear off," says Chicago-based makeup artist Adriana Aude.
12. Don't cry off all your beautiful makeup!
Tears will happen, so it's important to know how to weep correctly. "Hold a tissue in each hand. Then press the tissues in the tear duct and let the tears run into the tissue -- and keep changing the tissue," says Catherine Sullivan of Fresh Face Chicago. "This keeps you from rubbing your face and eyes and ruining your beautiful face."