Wer Ond Wif

Life in the Wer & Wifdom

2011-12-11T22:27:00.001-05:00

Us on our honeymoon in Montreal. These photos JUST went up on Facebook today -
I'm neglecting our wedding stuff everywhere, not just here!

Raise your hand if you forgot this blog existed. Yeah, me too, apparently. We're coming up on our year-and-a-half anniversary (on Boxing Day!) and this poor blog hasn't seen a post for like a month-and-a-half. Sad.

The thing is, as Ferris Buehler told us in 1986, life moves pretty fast. Justin's been home from his deployment for four months now, but they feel like they went by on hyperdrive. I'm still working three jobs, he's job-hunting, getting ready to start grad school in January, and getting back into a regular army training schedule. Plus there's the house, the dog, the family, the holidays . . . yadda yadda yadda.

There's also the fact that I feel like posting endless photos of our wedding and still yammering on about our menu choices or flower colors seems a bit, well, narcissistic? I mean, yes, we had a lovely wedding and a good time was had by all. But hey, since then, we got a dog, we moved house, Justin was deployed and came home, and we went to Scotland. Are we still talking about that wedding thing?

I'm struggling to figure out a fitting way to end things over here. Maybe I never will and this will be the last post, but maybe I will hit on something that feels right. I'd say stay tuned, but who knows how that would turn out? :)

"And the Guests Never Notice"

2011-09-29T13:09:00.003-04:00

Another amazing wedding comic from Wondermark (click to enlarge)! One of the things I love most about APW is how the above kind of anxiety-inducing cultural misconceptions are, as they say, "shame-blasted" away. Thanks, APW, for allowing us to all recognize that our weddings are not, in fact, things we can lose at (as long as we're true to ourselves, our partners, and our values).

Wedding-ing Up Our Walls

2011-09-27T00:17:00.000-04:00

Sorry to be away for so very, very long. However, Justin arrived home from his deployment on August 13th and we've spent the last month or so being married again. :) It's been lovely and crazy and everything else that homecomings are.

But I'm back(ish) now and wanted to share one of our recent home decorating projects. This kind of shizz is all we do now - ripping up carpets, assembling furniture, hanging pictures, etc. I did a fair amount while Justin was gone, he's done a good amount since he's been back, and there's always more to do (the big jobs like stripping wallpaper, painting, and refinishing wood floors may have to wait until spring at this point).

We don't have too many of our wedding photos up in the house, but we hung four 8 x 10 ones in the stairway a few weeks ago. The photos are below, as well as the original images, in case you find it hard to make out the pictures in the grainy photos below. Can't imagine why. :)

Also - see that top photo? Now see how high up it is in the stairway? We were too lazy to get the ladder up from the basement, so that nail got hammered in and that frame hung via a very hilarious and unsafe system, i.e. me up on Justin's shoulders. !!! Oh well, they all got hung and we're happy seeing our wedding pics every time we walk down the stairs now.

Long Distance by the Numbers

2011-07-20T21:31:00.004-04:00

# of days since I've heard my husband's voice: 2
# of days since I've seen his face: 16
# of days since I've hugged him: 92
# of days since he's been in his own home: 310
# of days until I get him back: not 100% sure (nor could I tell you even if I was), but it's less than 92, at least!

Man, look at that shizz. Is it any wonder I'm a mess?

The Measure of my Dreams

2011-07-08T23:22:00.002-04:00

If you don't have the stomach for Super Cheese (TM), you might want to skip this post. Because, yes, THIS exists on Facebook. ;)

(Cross-posted at Hodoeporicon)

Keeping It Real, Part II

2011-07-04T23:59:00.005-04:00

So I know I said I was going to post fairly regularly up until my wedding anniversary, then retire the blog. However, it seems that I'm not so good at the posting regularly bit. It also seems that I'm not ready to let go yet. What is a girl to do?

For now, at least, continue to be inspired by the ladies over at A Practical Wedding. They just wrapped up their first-ever APW Pride Week and it was great to hear from some of their same-sex couples. I was particularly interested in this post about what male/female couples can do in their own weddings to acknowledge the current state of marriage inequality in this country. That issue was (and continues to be!) important to Justin & I and we wanted to say something about it. Rather than re-invent the wheel, I'll re-post my comment on that post here to let you know what we did:

We went fairly subtle with our expressions of support, but sometimes I wish we had gone bigger. A very dear friend and her wife, who had just celebrated their 2-year married-but-not-legal-in-their-state anniversary were great wedding helpers and our best man came out as bisexual less than 6 months later*. I wish we had put our feelings about marriage equality out there a bit more, if only for them.

That being said, though, we carefully chose scripture readings that were gender-neutral, made one of our registered charities Lambda Legal, and placed the following statement in our programs, right under a memorial statement for my grandparents:

In Solidarity
"We appreciate your support today as we join our lives together in the eyes of the law and the community. We continue to support same-sex couples who have been denied that opportunity."

*And is now engaged to his awesome boyfriend. :)

To quote our friend Spencer . . .

2011-06-21T23:49:00.001-04:00

"Everybody's gettin' married." :) To wit:

Four of my college friends are getting married over the summer (two to each other!).
The best man at our wedding and his boyfriend got engaged in April.
One of the couples we stayed with in Scotland got engaged the weekend after we went home (also in April).
One of my dear college friends and his equally awesome girlfriend got engaged in May, which was followed (the same night) by a surprise engagement party. So much fun!
And one of my grad school friends got engaged to her boyfriend last week!

How lovely, all of it. With my own anniversary coming up this weekend (I promise a longer post about our irregular first year of marriage), it's so nice to hear of dear friends also taking the plunge. Turns out, marriage is a freaking HUGE thing and harder than it looks. This year has taught me that, if anything. But in the end, it's so very, very worth it and it makes me feel all fuzzy inside to think of beloved friends diving in themselves.

If two be one . . .

2011-06-05T00:50:00.003-04:00

I posted this poem, by the first published female poet in America, a couple of weeks ago on my professional blog. One of the museums where I work is in a town where Anne lived and wrote, so we've got some things planned for the 400th anniversary of her birthday next year. Upon reflection, of course, it's a perfect piece for here, this marriage/wedding blog of mine, especially given Justin's current deployment. Enjoy!

A Letter to Her Husband, Absent upon Public Employment

by Anne Bradstreet

(1612-1672)

My head, my heart, mine eyes, my life, nay, more,

My joy, my magazine of earthly store,

If two be one, as surely thou and I,

How stayest thou there, whilst I at Ipswich lie?

So many steps, head from the heart to sever,

If but a neck, soon should we be together.

I like the Earth this season, mourn in black,

My Sun is gone so far in's zodiac,

Whom whilst I 'joyed, nor storms, nor frost I felt,

His warmth such frigid colds did cause to melt.

My chilled limbs now numbed lie forlorn;

Return; return, sweet Sol, from Capricorn;

In this dead time, alas, what can I more

Than view those fruits which through thy heat I bore?

Which sweet contentment yield me for a space,

True living pictures of their father's face.

O strange effect! now thou art southward gone,

I weary grow the tedious day so long;

But when thou northward to me shalt return,

I wish my Sun may never set, but burn

Within the Cancer of my glowing breast,

The welcome house of him my dearest guest.

Where ever, ever stay, and go not thence,

Till nature's sad decree shall call thee hence;

Flesh of thy flesh, bone of thy bone,

I here, thou there, yet but both one.

Squeee!

2011-06-02T22:47:00.001-04:00

Lots of excitement for me last week! Our anniversary and the above photo was listed on A Practical Wedding, along with a number of other lovely couples who were or are getting married in June. Go check it out! :)

Where I've Been, Second Honeymoon Edition

2011-05-26T00:38:00.001-04:00

Sorry for not catching this blog up in forever, but here I am to finally follow up on my mysterious post of April 3rd (yikes). I couldn't say where we were going before we went, but Justin and I spent 2 weeks in Scotland on his military leave. I studied in Edinburgh for a semester as an undergraduate, so this was my fifth trip to Scotland. However, my dear new(ish) husband had never been, so it was a treat showing him around.

In honor of the fact that this was in many ways a second honeymoon, I compiled the slideshow below, which features photos of the two of us. Never mind the lovely scenery and ancient buildings - you just want to see our grinning mugs, right? ;)

Mysterioso

2011-04-03T19:05:00.001-04:00

I'll explain later. :) Hint: It has something to do with a second honeymoon.

Because I love him . . .

2011-03-28T00:15:00.001-04:00

Our best man and SBF (shared best friend) was in town this week and I got to see him & his boyfriend twice, which was pretty great. :) Love this picture of him swinging by to visit Justin & I during the wedding party dance!

A Little Lightness

2011-03-19T01:50:00.008-04:00

OK, enough with all the heavy stuff. ;) You people need pictures! The above is one of my very favorite photos from our honeymoon. Just look at the cute grin on my then-new husband's face. I guess I should probably explain why we were eating on the floor on the first night of our honeymoon . . .

After a 5+ hour drive up to Montreal, we were a little tired once we arrived at the hotel, unpacked, and started thinking about dinner options. We had a bottle of red wine waiting in our room thanks to our friends Sarah, Sam, and Marla (thanks, guys!), but were debating over where to eat. Then, just as I was getting overwhelmed with the choices, the heavens opened & it started pissing down rain.

Relieved, we flipped to the take-out menu section. Lo & behold, there was/is an Ethiopian restaurant in Montreal! My friend introduced me to Ethiopian food in New York years ago. Turns out - in a weird twist of fate for a girl who could happily eat cold, plain pasta 24/7 - I love me some Ethiopian cuisine.

So order it we did & when it came, we realized that the room was not well set up for dining. However, we are not ones to stand on ceremony (we got engaged in our pjs, remember?), so we set up camp on the floor & happily dug in. And that's how it happened that my new husband & I ate dinner with our hands, on the floor, on the first night of our honeymoon. It was awesome.

Exploring the "Wif" of Wer Ond Wif

2011-03-16T01:29:00.003-04:00

I read a really interesting (aren't they all?) post on A Practical Wedding back in January, called On Both Having & Being a Wife. The post explores a bit about what the word wife means for lesbian couples. The comments, in the way that APW comments are wont to do, go off in all sorts of glorious directions about what terms like wife and partner mean. You should go read it all (always read the comments over there) for yourself, but in the meantime, here are some thoughts the post sparked for me.

The terms wife and husband are fine with me because they're specific, concrete. When someone says husband, I think of my Justin, not all the repressive husbands that ever were. When someone says wife, I think of myself, not a cliched 1950s housewife ideal. The honorific Mrs. is fine with me in the same way. I'm Mrs. Mylastname-Hislastname*, the only one that exists in the whole world. It's very specific to me and to my husband, who is the only Mr. Mylastname-Hislastname in the world.

All the same, I totally get the argument to use Ms. exclusively, because it intentionally applies to both single & married women and it's what I used when I was single. It's also a brilliant way to challenge people's assumptions about me, as is saying partner instead of husband (as suggested in the APW post).

I guess in the end, whatever terms feels most logical for you & your spouse is the one that's best. I second commenter Sarah's opinion, "I am looking forward to the time when EVERYONE feels free to use meaningful terms that signify the complete import of their relationships."

*NOTE: Those of you who know our real names are probably thinking, what the heck did she just type? This anonymizing shorthand is used pretty often on wedding & feminist blogs when the "taking-his-name" debate crops up. ;)

Going It Solo

2011-03-09T01:28:00.002-05:00

Where's a husband/shopping partner when you need one? ;) No worries - I navigated this combo through the local IKEA on my own just fine, thank you!

Most of that is work stuff, but the two long boxes and tall vertical box on the dolly are our new acacia bistro set! :) Now, we just need spring to actually show up . . .

Expectations

2011-03-03T23:26:00.005-05:00

3 days after I said wedding vows to the love of my life & danced the night away with beloved family & friends, 2 days after I took a post-wedding cruise around Portsmouth Harbor with my husband, parents, and dear friends, 1 day after my new husband & I packed up and drove north across the Canadian border to start our honeymoon . . . I sat on a Montreal hotel bed and sobbed.

Why? Still not 100% sure, but the best guess is that the stress, excitement, and life-changing-ness of the wedding finally hit me and I needed some release. Luckily, I married an amazing man, who sat with me, soothed me, and didn't push me to just get over it & enjoy the honeymoon. I did, eventually, get over it and enjoy the honeymoon, but I needed that time to just acknowledge how HUGE a thing a wedding is.

And, I needed to know that I wasn't alone in my reaction. Thanks again, Team Practical, for helping us understand our weddings, warts & all.

Weddings in Random Places

2011-02-23T20:23:00.001-05:00

More awesome (if unexpected) wedding stuff from Wondermark. :)

(Previous awesome wedding cartoons here.)

Yikes!

2011-02-21T21:46:00.003-05:00

Where have I gone? It's now been over 2 weeks since I posted here. I will eventually phase out posting on this blog (since I've now been married for . . . let me check the counter at the bottom of the page . . . 7 months, 3 weeks, and 5 days). However, I am hoping to get through to our first anniversary on June 26th and then retire the blog gracefully. I guess I better step it up in the meantime!

While I'm busy formulating new posts, you can head on over to this post, written by my former boss, the Curator of Strawbery Banke Museum. They're preparing for their 2012 exhibit, called "Passion for Fashion" and she's compiled a number of beautiful images of historic wedding dresses and accessories here. Check it out!

Keeping It Real

2011-02-05T01:13:00.011-05:00

One of the things that was most important to us when we were planning the wedding was that it reflect us and how we are all the time, not just on this one, particular, OMG-super-special-and-important day. And I do love some of the formal, posed shots, like these:

Justin, his mom, and his youngest sister

My sister and two best friends

Justin and me

Me with my lovely bridesmaids

Just after the ceremony, in front of the church (before everyone else spilled out)

Posed shot on the church's amazing oval staircase

Kissing on command by a tree in the state park where the reception site was

Streams of sunset light!

But, it's the unplanned, unpredicted, wonderfully random shots that really get me. The ones that so often happen just out of the view of the photographer's lens. Luckily though, we had a ninja professional photographer and two great amateur photographers in our best man & groomsman's girlfriend, so we caught a lot more of those moments that I thought would be humanly possible! Like these:

The bride & groom, pre-ceremony, just hanging out in their apartment. I was totally giving him shit for the black feather that our best man tucked into his hat & thought I wouldn't notice (you can see the feather in my hands, actually).

Cannot for the life of me remember what I was demonstrating to my bridesmaid, but love this shot.

Hugging my soon-to-be mother-in-law!

This is when we looked over and noticed that our old broken microwave (which we forgot to throw out before the wedding party descended on our apartment) was being used to prop open the outside door. This was very funny to us for some reason.

Goofy face!

A groomsman with my bouquet. Yeah, he's comfortable with bending gender roles.

My sweet sister-in-law/flower girl, laughing up at her mother.

A quick goodbye kiss before the boys headed down the street to the church.

My little monkey nephews, checking out a game on my brother-in-law's phone on our apartment building's front steps.

Well, SOMEONE had to lock the apartment before we left for the church!

Off we go! I love the tiny sneaker you can see there between my calves - that's my littlest nephew, walking with his mama!

Someone's peeking!

The best man, groomswoman, and groomsman, goofing around between professional shots on the staircase.

Smiley bridesmaids!

Totally laughing at my mother for having whipped out her colorful reading glasses for her scripture reading.

A kiss from an old friend.

Poor Molly was very patient with Andrew.. ;)

My husband is surprise-attacking his friends with our umbrella (not visible). Why? Who knows? Good thing he's cute.

Yay for sisters and best friends who get along!

This is my "I think I can do these rocks in high heels, but can I grab your arm for a little support just-in-case?" pose.

Necking during our last dance song.

The location & composition of the shot were posed; the expressions were not.

Mmmm - even brides need a snack!

See? :)

Our best man's infamous inside joke during the toast. The person with his back turned and the two grinning people are the only ones who get it.

Another kiss from an old friend, and a new husband looking on with love.

In order to make the posed photos look better, the photographer made me share some of my cava with Justin so our glasses were even! I was not amused. ;)

No pressure in case you DO fall on those rocks in high heels, though, bride. You only have the photographer's camera behind you and four others trained on you, as well!

A little adjustment before the fancy shots.

I was trying to smoosh frosting on his nose, but he's too quick for me.

A sweet moment caught between my best friend/bridesmaid and her boyfriend/our usher.

J and his college friends.

Wisdom from the Maritimes

2011-01-26T23:56:00.000-05:00

THIS. This is so perfect & important & just-plain-old something that needs to be said. It's about men and women and why the old stereotypes still stick. In an enlightened, modern world, why do men still call their wives "the old ball & chain"? Why do women still bitch about how messy or bad at listening their husbands are? Are these tropes real or are they constructs that obstruct us from acknowledging the real nuances and complexities of our romantic relationships?

I love how the post linked above confronts that question and comes down squarely on the side that my husband & I do. I probably don't need to tell you which side that is. ;) Here are some of my favorite parts of the post (which you should go read the entirety of):

The men I know are just as complex and flawed and generous and maddening as I am.

When women proclaim Male Pattern Dumbness as if I'm supposed to snort and agree, I pause and think of my sons and the partners they'll encounter. I expect as much kindness for them as I do from them. They are as much kings as any girl would be queen and what that means is all things sensible. If husbands are obligated to behave exactly as we want them to, then we're obligated to offer the same. What would your ideal behaviour be, as defined by the man in your life?

We're grown-ups. We chose our partners -- every aspect of them -- just as they chose us. Everyone compromises. That's why they call it love. Inept men are not foisted upon all of superior womanhood along with an avalanche of dirty socks.

The Story of Us, Part 1

2011-01-21T23:58:00.000-05:00

Justin's cousin invited me to a girls' night at her apartment the other night, which was a lot of fun. I was talking to a couple of girls who I'd just met and realized that mine & Justin's story is rather a cute one.

I also watched "When Harry Met Sally" the other night and realized how much I love the bits at the beginning & end when the couples tell their camera the stories of how they met, with sweet little interjections & interruptions. Justin & I don't have that act down yet, but I'm sure we will be the time we're in our 70s. ;) So here's the short version of "our story" with another post to come about our first three dates in particular.

We first met in May 2008 & saw each other about once a week as friends that summer. We were on a weekly trivia team together. Justin was initially interested in our third team member, a then-friend of mine, when we first met. After a couple of weeks, though, they both had decided the spark wasn't there. By about mid-August, he & I were interested in each other, but not sure how much or how to begin things.

Eventually, after everyone knew we liked each other, we went on a proper date. And things fell neatly into place from there. We said "I love you" at 1 month, "forever?" at 2 months, and answered that question with a ring around 3 months.

Can We Be Contenders?

2011-01-19T00:21:00.000-05:00

This week, I submitted the above three photos in a photo contest held by the company from which we rented our tables, chairs, dance floor, dishes, etc. If you're on Facebook (haha, who isn't?), won't you vote for us? We could win $1K, which would be pretty sweet! :)

If you do want to help us out, click through to the company's FB page, hit "like" for the main page, then head over to the photo contest album and click "like" below each of our photos (currently the last 3 in the album). And thanks!

Joy at the Reception

2011-01-12T23:51:00.005-05:00

Gosh, there was so much that it's hard to sort through it all! :) However, here are some of the photos that I think best exemplify the joy & happiness we saw & experienced at our wedding reception.

Making my husband giggle during the cocktail hour bride & groom pics.

My college buds, Tim, John, and Shawn, looking snazzy during the cocktail hour.

Lovely Monica, in line for the bar.

Great smile from my friend Kate's wife Carrie, also in line for the bar.

My lovely friends Christie & Lissa. I've known the girl on the left for 25 years and the one on the right for 15 :)

Our awesome groomsmen Andrew & Adam, posing by the rocks.

A big smile from my parents' friend Steve, who I've known since I was an infant.

Our best man Andrew, giving his awesome toast.

Which included a very, very inside joke. Which is why Adam (foreground), Justin, and I are cracking up and everyone else looks confused.

My beautiful sister giving her toast - she officially handed off responsibility for looking after me to Justin. :)

Andrew being Andrew, Adam's girlfriend Molly, me, Justin, and Adam.

My husband makes me laugh. This was taken during our first dance.

Isn't he a handsome one? I love his grins.

Adam & Molly grinning it up during the wedding party dance.

I forget why we were laughing when we cut the cake - probably too much cava at this point.

My littlest nephew/ring bearer, giggling at his cousin.

Rocking it with some of Justin's college friends.

My college friends getting down.

Justin's sisters (Becca, Heather, Holly) are good dancers! :)

This should probably be titled "bliss," not "joy." Just look at how happy my college friend Caron is, with a s'more in hand and a glass of wine on the table.

Small boys love fire. And sweets. Is it any wonder my oldest nephew is smiling?

My mother-in-law and sister-in-law having fun.

And the same of my silly sisters-in-law.

Don't know what my college girls (Becca, Natalie, Caron, Melissa) were smiling at, but they look happy. :)

Big grins from Tina & Becca.

The dance floor rocking. Love the smile on Molly's face here.

My pops, bellying up to the bar. :)

My young cousins, dancing up a storm.

Kate & Carrie, married for 2 years & 12 days as of our wedding day.

Sweet smile on my best friend Rachel's face (and on that of our dear friend Jim, as well!).

Haha, love this one. This, apparently, is my reaction when I realize that every friend of ours on the dance floor just watched us kiss.

As is this.

My wonderful college friends, all giddy & silly in the moonlight.

It's all in the details, part 2

2010-12-31T01:30:00.003-05:00

Here's a compilation of some of the details of the reception that I agonized over for months, but made me smile on our wedding day. The image is big, so feel free to click on it to see it original size.

From the top left corner, in clockwise order:

our sailboat cake topper, purchased from an online favors website, spray painted brown by my husband, and accessorized with a pennant by me
our initials for our chairs at the head table
wedding or honeymoon photos of my grandparents, tucked into this locket that was pinned to my sister's bouquet, as well as one that was pinned to my own
Justin's & my blue shoes, in sync on the dance floor
a close-up of our table centerpieces, which featured single white hydrangeas in bottles found on my great-great-aunt's farm in PEI, atop reproduced 1866 maps of Portsmouth Harbor
my brother-in-law clinking glasses with Justin's sister during the toasts
one of the firepits for s'more making
our ceremony flowers & all the bouquets, repurposed as head table decor
the seating lists & seating chart (designed on top of a reproduced 1616 map of the New England coast by one of my bridesmaids) on the "greeting table."

I'll have to check on the photo credits & update later - some of these were taken by the photographer & some by friends. I really like how just looking at these details can give you a pretty good sense of the reception as a whole. :)

Joy at the Ceremony (& just before & just after)

2010-12-22T23:26:00.088-05:00

Continuing with my series o' joy, here are some of the big smiley moments from the ceremony, plus a little before & a little after.

My mom's friend Linda, upon sighting me & my entourage walking towards the church.

Our groomsman Adam's awesome girlfriend Molly, who I had only met a few times before the wedding, but ended up being a do-anything, help-everywhere superhero.

My sister & bridesmaids and our minister, sporting big grins as my littlest nephew speeds down the aisle towards them. :)

These two go together. :) I forgot exactly what our minister said to prompt the wave from Justin's nephew (below), but I remember how smiley & happy it made us. See, just look at us (above)!

This is around the time that our minister extemporized a bit about the particular challenges that an introvert (Justin) & an extrovert (Stacey) have in their relationship. Because we both so very stereotypically embody those definitions, the whole congregation cracked up. As did we.

I like to make big smiley faces at Justin to get him to lighten up sometimes. That is not what is happening here. We're both simply giggle-grinning with joy, just after being pronounced husband & wife and smooching.

I love our smiles in this pic, but even more, I love looking at all the loving faces around us, also smiling joyfully.

A lovely hug with my sister in the church mansion hallway.

The whole dang wedding party, arrayed along the awesome oval staircase. Check out those grins! :)

Joy at the After Party

2010-12-14T23:31:00.008-05:00

I want to start a new series of posts chronicling what I consider one of the most important aspects of a wedding - the joy. Those wide smiles & bright eyes that you get when you're marrying the love of your life, or laughing at an old friend's joke, or belting out a cheesy 80s song - all things that happened at my wedding.

I probably won't have the discipline to go in chronological order, so I'm going to randomly start near the end, at the after-party that my parents hosted in their hotel suite. I find that I can't look at these photos without smiling, even 5½ months later. The photos are captioned for your edification (sometimes it's important to know the person in the picture is an old friend!). Enjoy!

(L-R) Adam (groomsman & SBF - "shared best friend"), Brad (my friend from Prince Edward Island who I've known since I was 13 years old), me.

Foreground: Me & Andrew, best man & another SBF. Middle ground: Justin. Background: my parents & Dave, one of their old friends. This was during the 80s sing-along & yes, Andrew is rocking the air guitar.

My lovely friends Monica & Kate, met 7 years ago while studying in Scotland. They're giggling after doing an wild, limbs-waving impression of lobsters boiling in the pot.

Me & my mother, laughing about something.

Andrew, Justin, me, Adam. Adam's birthday was the day after our wedding, so at midnight, his lovely girlfriend Molly lured him into the hallway for a cupcake w/ a candle & a rendition of "Happy Birthday."

(L-R): My friend Jim from high school, me, my friend Kate from Scotland. I met these two at different times in my life, but love them both dearly. And they get along really well with each other!

Reprise, with Added Perspective

2010-12-02T23:55:00.007-05:00

For those of you who don't know us well, Justin is almost 3 months into a year-long military deployment. Yup, we got married, had 2½ months of newlywedded bliss, and off he went. :( I posted the following on my primary blog yesterday.

"So, I have a pretty good life, you guys. I honestly can't complain much about how fate has treated me - a wonderful childhood, a loving family, a career I enjoy, and a husband who has made me smile pretty much every day of the 2+ years we've been together.

Still. This deployment thing is HARD. I can't give many details about what Justin does, but he leaves for a mission soon. My husband, the other half of my being, is about to be out of communication for awhile, doing something potentially quite dangerous. How could that fail to infuse my daily life with fear & worry?"

That blog has a feed to my Facebook account and within a few hours, I was lucky enough to have numerous friends leave kind, caring, supportive comments. One of them was from an old, old friend who is also married to a military man. Her whole comment was thoughtful & helpful, but the following really helped put things in perspective for me:

"Those 14 months were the hardest of my life, but I can honestly say it brought us so close together, made me appreciate all of the little things so much more...and dismiss those little annoyances with ease...who cares that his socks are balled up in the hamper?? He's here to ball them up!"

And that's just it. I tend to be an impatient person. The only people with whom I have patience are old folks & little people. I have the unflattering tendency to get frustrated with my husband easily. It's not something of which I'm proud and I've been working on it for awhile now.

But, his absence reminds me every day that I would rather have him here doing every single thing I've ever found annoying than have him 6,000 miles away. And, God willing, if when he comes back to me, I will treasure every minute of our lives together & let the little annoyances just slip-slide away. Most of the time, that is. I’m only human, after all. ;)

Secret Language of a Marriage

2010-11-24T14:13:00.005-05:00

I found this article months ago & forgot to post it then. I love the idea that most married or long-term couples have a language that makes sense only to them, that they are "a civilization of two," as the author writes. Justin & I have been married about five months and together for over two years. We've got nothing on long-married couples, but we've always had our own inside jokes. :)

The Songs, Illustrated

2010-11-19T23:36:00.011-05:00

So, this may sound a bit overconfident, but I think the music at our wedding was AWESOME. :) You may remember my post last February about possible ceremony songs. After I wrote it, Justin & I did some tweaking and picked a line-up of songs that really worked for us. We did the same for our list of reception songs - both the assigned songs for first & last dances and the fun songs we put on our DJ's suggested songs list.

In the end, I was so happy with all of our choices and everyone else seemed to love them, as well. Below, I've listed the songs, how they were used, a link to listen to them on youtube, and a photo that I think illustrates the song at our wedding. Enjoy. :)

Ceremony Prelude - Summer, from the Four Seasons, Vivaldi (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=go7wlUOC5dg)

Processional - All You Need is Love, The Beatles

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CLEtGRUrtJo)

Bridal Processional - Such Great Heights, Iron & Wine

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKGHkBComjM)

Recessional - Such Great Heights, The Postal Service

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXEq7WiINa4)

First Dance - You Are The Best Thing, Ray Lamontagne

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJ3xTjvj9tw)

Father/Daughter Dance - Unforgettable, Natalie and Nat King Cole (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2uRtNMFfF-g)

Wedding Party Dance - Rainy Night in SoHo, The Pogues

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8U93klVz-8)

The Electric Slide (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QmMQfTJ3gYk)

Come on Eileen, Dexy's Midnight Runners

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oc-P8oDuS0Q)

Also Come on Eileen (we really love to dance to that song)

More Come on Eileen

Seriously, we love that song (I even danced to it - in my head - the next morning in the shower stall of our wedding night suite)

Bohemian Rhapsody, Queen

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=irp8CNj9qBI)

(P.S. This song ended up our second-to-last, requested by our groomsmen. For a little back story, see here and here.)

Last Dance - Here Comes Your Man, The Pixies

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hvi4iA3PnKE)

Very loud sing-along song at 1am, during the after-party -

Don't Stop Believing, Journey

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfUYuIVbFg0)

Photos That Make Me Go "bwahahahahahaha"

2010-11-10T00:25:00.002-05:00

Now, in utterly random order, here are some of the most humorous photos from our wedding weekend. Commentary & proper captioning may follow at some point, if I ever get my act together on the rest of these back posts (this one was slated to go up October 17th!). :) In the meantime, just enjoy.

See you next week!

2010-11-01T20:50:00.006-04:00

No posts this week, as I'll be in Wisconsin visiting Justin before he deploys to the Middle East. I'll leave you with this great photo of our head table/last supper scene to tide you over. Catch you next week!

It's all in the details, part 1

2010-10-31T13:43:00.009-04:00

So I realize that I have yet to post documentary photos on the different parts of the wedding, but I was thinking about the details of the day and wanted to highlight some of the little things. Here's a compilation of some of the details of the getting ready & ceremony time that make me smile (the image is big, so feel free to click on it to see it original size).

From left to right, top row:

our bagpiper (a friend of my father's) outside the church
the aisle after we'd walked down it & the church had emptied (the little paper hearts have Shakespeare quotes and came from this Etsy shop)
the guys' great boutonnieres from Ambrosia Gardens, complete with tiny starfish
my bouquet of blue hydrangea & Queen Anne's lace, just after I made it (pretty much the only time it looked fresh & awesome)

Bottom row:

a close-up of our pew decorations (I went with silk hydrangeas so as not to worry about keeping them in water overnight & I think they looked fine!)
my husband's cuff links that have an excerpt from "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" (from this Etsy shop)
our blue shoes side by side

All photos but pew decoration one are by Molly Dixon.

Just before the beginning . . .

2010-10-29T12:38:00.004-04:00

I'll be writing a post soon about Justin's & my first three dates, because a friend reminded me the other day of how funny they were. Now that I've set them up like that, of course, you'll be expecting side-stitching anecdotes. That, I cannot promise you. However, we did have a few funny things happen, so I'll share them and you can laugh or not.

But before I do that, I wanted to share this post that I wrote on my primary blog back in April of 2008. If any of you know Justin, pay careful attention to the way I describe my Mr. Right. I met Justin about a month later. :)

More to Come

2010-10-23T00:00:00.005-04:00

I know I haven't posted in a little while, but I swear to you - I have something like 20 posts drafted, 5 of which were started in the last week. So, there will be many more posts, with lots more photos, coming your way. In the meantime, I had to share these great comics from Wondermark. Click on them to make them bigger & make the text easier to read. They go together, so be sure to read the top one first. Enjoy!

Cupcakes!

2010-10-15T23:59:00.001-04:00

Love this Dinosaur Comics strip about wedding cupcakes. If you can't read the text, click on it to make it bigger. In the last panel, T-Rex refers to cupcakes as "the most delicious fad of all time." :) I agree! Just look at this close-up of our wedding cupcakes. Yummmmmm.

Pub Crawlin'

2010-10-03T22:27:00.007-04:00

"Do you know some secret I don't know about avoiding hangovers?"

"Oh, I don't think that's a good idea at all."

"Oh boy."

Those were some of the responses we got to the statement that we wanted to host a pub crawl in Portsmouth the night before the wedding. The thing was - we had a lot of friends coming in from out of town on Friday (including 7 Canadians who got up early & drove down from Prince Edward Island that day) and we wanted to spend a little time with them before the craziness of the wedding day. AND, if any of you have ever been out in Portsmouth in the summer, it's brilliant. Great bars, a fun vibe, and quality late night food. We wanted to show it off a bit!

Our best man, bless his heart, took over the planning on the pub crawl, as we were up to our eyeballs with other wedding tasks. After calls to local bar managers, he carefully planned a list of three to four bars at which people could meet us, with attendant times and directions. He even created a Facebook event for it! Of course, life did its own thing, as it is wont to do, and we ended up totally scotching the schedule. Instead, we had a late-running rehearsal, a late-running rehearsal dinner, and just met everyone at the last (and best) pub, The Coat of Arms.

It ended up being one of those awesome nights where (intentionally) everyone you love is all in the same place - drinking together, making new friends, and laughing, a lot. I remember being overwhelmed by trying to talk to everyone who requested my presence, but also floating on a wave of joy (& Belhaven Scottish Ale).

Here are a few of my favorite photos - the first two are of my awesome college friends (known them for 10 years now!!!), the third is me and the groom-to-be, and the final is some of the wedding party taking a celebratory shot.

Now, despite all concerns, everything worked out fine. I gave myself a maximum number of shots that I was allowed to take (accidentally said "minimum" at one point, though) and I only exceeded that number by one. I ended up talking to so many people that I nursed just one or two beers the whole time we were there.

And, as Andrew said on the Facebook event page, "the fairy godmothers are going to be turning Justin and Stacey's carriages all pumpkin-like by midnight." And like good little doobies, we did head home around midnight. I spent a little time once we got home opening the fridge to say hi to the PEI lobsters that my friend brought down with him, though . . . try to picture that for a second. A slightly tipsy bride, continually opening the freezer door and cooing, "Hi, lobsters! Hi!" Yeah. It was a great night. :)

Artsy Photos

2010-09-27T23:28:00.009-04:00

Bugger! It's been more than two weeks since I last posted, after promising I wouldn't let it go that long! My apologies, in case there's anyone who cares. ;)

In the spirit of chronological order, I was planning to post some pics from the pub crawl after the rehearsal dinner. But in reviewing the wedding pics, I fell in love with some of the black & white shots and wanted to showcase them. I went through all of the professional pics (getting ready, ceremony, and reception) and realized that the B&W shots do a pretty good job of telling the wedding story on their own.

So, here they are - all on their own. Photo credit for all goes to our great "ninja" photographer, Aaron Rohde. Slideshow creation enabled by PhotoSnack.

photos slideshow

Rehearsal Dinner, Or Om Noms After the Rehearsal

2010-09-10T22:55:00.002-04:00

After the rehearsal, running late, we all piled into cars and hightailed it to the Dolphin Striker for the rehearsal dinner.

Portsmouth summer parking being what it is, the bride ended up dropping off her father & groom and driving around for a while looking for a parking spot. I finally found one - right in front of the restaurant! Thanks, universe.

This is the lovely sight that greeted us inside. Like many Portsmouth restaurants, the Dolphin Striker is in an old brick building by the waterfront that was used as warehouse or shop space in the 18th century. I love the exposed bricks & wooden beams.

My husband is a very large fan of Dr. Who. Here, his best man & groomsman present him with a sonic screwdriver. I think he liked it.

I did, too. :)

A cute photo, a lovely dinner & a few bottles of wine, and off to the bars!

Stay tuned for the next post. I promise it won't be two weeks between them this time!

Rehearsing's the Key

2010-08-22T21:22:00.002-04:00

Some of my favorite photos from the rehearsal:

I wanted simple decorations, to go with a fairly simple church. Silk hydrangeas on every other pew and four simple arrangements at the front? Worked for me!

My father & I putting our oars in while my mum practiced her Bible readings. Not surprising, really, to anyone who knows the two of us.

My darling, lovely, sweet nephews. They most definitely did not do this during the ceremony, but man, it was cute during the rehearsal.

Can't remember what was so funny, but I love this pic of most of the women in my life cracking up. From left to right, my sister, best friend, sister-in-law, other best friend, me (front row); mother-in-law and two sisters-in-law (back row)

Auntie (me) explaining the Last Supper carving/trying to keep the little boys from manhandling the altar

I love contrasting the picture above with the one below. Same set-up, but the rehearsal one is casual & kind of offhand, the ceremony one is formal, yet full of joy.

Inter-Generational Fun

2010-08-06T22:36:00.011-04:00

As my father said in his toast, one of the most important things to us was that our wedding be about family, friends, and fun. While I completely understand why some people don't invite children to their weddings, that option was never on the table for us. My nephews (who served as our ring bearers) are 2 and 4 and we have many young cousins who we wanted there with us on our special day.

One of the benefits of seeing the wedding photographer's photos is that it helps me to see what people were doing when I was off doing something else. I keep saying, "Oh, I'm glad so-and-so danced! I must have missed that." or "Yay - those two are talking without fighting!" And one of the things that made me happy was to see how different generations enjoyed themselves.

From the very small,

to young cousins and nephews,

to medium-sized cousins,

to college friends,

And the older generation . . .

everyone, in every generation, seemed to find something that was fun for them. And as I've said before, isn't that the point? Sure, your wedding day is about you and your spouse and the vows that you're saying to each other. But it's also (perhaps even more so) about the love that your family members and friends have for you and for each other. What a wonderful thing to celebrate!

Home Again (& Wedding Pics!)

2010-08-04T19:13:00.003-04:00

Well, we're home from our week on Prince Edward Island and we've got the photographer's photos! You can access them here: http://aaronrohdephotography.zenfolio.com/p958984016. The password is "jswed".

I'm so pleased with the photos! The one above is one of my many favorites. I'm planning recaps of each part of the wedding weekend (rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, pub crawl, getting ready, ceremony, reception, harbor cruise . . . ), but for now, go check out the photos and enjoy! Be forewarned, though - there are 950!

(cross-posted at Hodoeporicon)

High Praise Indeed

2010-07-25T22:43:00.001-04:00

So a friend & wedding guest wrote me a message a few weeks ago. She knew we'd put a lot of time & effort into the wedding planning and she took the time to tell me each & every detail that she loved. :) I was so touched that she had done that, and I wanted to highlight a particularly nice thing she said at the end:

i like the way you guys didn't do a lot of pomp & circumstance. i'm not anti pomp & circumstance, but it just felt very you guys the way you did everything, and i think it's quite admirable that you were able to keep so much of yourselves in an event like a wedding.

Toasting

2010-07-16T21:09:00.002-04:00

We had some lovely toasts directed at us at the reception - a charming toast from my dear father, a funny & silly one from our best man, and a very sweet (slightly teasing) one from my big sister. I also gave a toast, but as I'd forgotten to print mine (I had a few other things on my mind in the days leading up to the wedding!), I shot from the hip a bit and left out a few things I'd meant to say. Oh well.

If you're interested in reading the beat man's toast, he posted it on his blog last week. He also framed his notes and gave them to us as a small part of his wedding gift. My favorite part of his toast? Might be when he said Justin was loyal, passionate, intelligent, and I was three times as much of each. ;) Just kidding!

Snapshots from a Wedding

2010-07-10T23:44:00.003-04:00

And we're back! Since my computer crashed two days before the wedding (!), I had to wait until that got sorted to post any pics. The old one is completely dead, but thanks to the generosity of our wedding guests, we were able to buy me a brand new one!

Hence, posting again and wedding pictures galore. At last count, there were over 400 photos of the wedding weekend - and that's just on Facebook! We should be getting the official photos any day now . . .

So, before delving into recaps and insight, here's an utterly random sample of my favorite wedding photos. Be forewarned - there are 23. ;)

Sit Up & Take Notice

2010-07-10T00:39:00.004-04:00

Well, we're back safely from our honeymoon and I promise pictures soon. But. I had to share this quote from A Practical Wedding that touched me deeply and reminded me of just what it was that Justin and I were promising each other two weeks ago tomorrow.

And all that reminded me of what all of this is about. It’s about promising to be each others family. It’s about being there through all the births, the infertility, the parenthood. Being there through all the illnesses, the hospitalisations, the tests, the fear, and the pain. It’s about being there until we die. It’s about putting each other into the ground.

We Did It!

2010-06-27T22:38:00.005-04:00

Stacey F. and Justin d. are now Mr. & Mrs. F-d! :)

We had a magical night and so did everyone else, from the sound of it. We're off to Montreal in the morning, but will recap all when we return. Above is my favorite of the pics already up on Facebook (photo credit to my friend Caron).

Love to all who were able to celebrate with us & to all who sent us their best wishes!

Yikes!

2010-06-23T23:59:00.001-04:00

According to the UPS tracking notification I just got, our wedding flowers shipped today from Secacus, New Jersey. Therefore, 18 lbs. of flowers should be arriving at our door sometime tomorrow. Yikes!!!

Fingers Crossed

2010-06-20T21:49:00.007-04:00

As of tonight, Accuweather.com says the following for Portsmouth on Saturday:

Hi 78°

Pleasant with partial sunshine

If this is what we get for wedding weather, I will be over the moon! Fingers crossed, ok?

2-dress Bride

2010-06-18T22:09:00.003-04:00

Never thought I'd be one. I said, "By far, this was the easiest party of wedding planning for me." Then, I had a bit of size and color drama. THEN, that got sorted and I said, "While still knocking on wood, I think I can safely say that the dress drama is pretty much over."

However, never say never, right? After all that, something was just not quite right about my dress. I tried it on and tried it on and never felt that "wow" feeling. I didn't expect fireworks, but I wanted to look in the mirror and say, "Oh, I love it!"

Then one day, I tried it on and was experimenting with the length a bit. I pulled the hem up to about knee-length and went, "Oh, I love it!" So, after a four-hour round trip drive to the J. Crew in Chestnut Hill during rush hour, I returned the long dress and ordered the bridesmaid version (i.e. knee-length, above) in ivory. It came shortly thereafter and it's perfect. :)

I took the tags off and had it pressed last week, so there's no going back now! Dress drama - managed.*

*A poor allusion to the phrase you use to clear the Marauder's Map (from 'arry Potter, of course).

Wedding Math

2010-06-16T23:55:00.000-04:00

OK, so we're currently 10 days out. We have a list of 21.5 wedding tasks remaining (one task is half done). Not counting the wedding day, we have 9 days to do them in. If we do 2.3 wedding tasks per day, we're golden! ;)

Timeliness

2010-06-09T19:39:00.011-04:00

So it turns out that attempting to plan a wedding and work four jobs and mourn a grandfather and celebrate family birthdays and graduations and attempt to keep up with three blogs . . . means something's gotta give. In this case, it was the blogs, clearly. Which I guess is fitting. All of those other things are much more important.

However, we're now 17 days out and I want to be more involved! More with the writing of the wedding details! So as an apology and a way to ease back in, here is a small selection of my bridal shower pics, only about five weeks late. ;)

I was surprised! I really was, despite having a
general suspicion that it was coming any day now . . . .

My friend since I was 4, Christie. She's pregnant now (hard to tell,
since she's such a skinny minny) and due with a boy in November!

My best friend/bridesmaid Rachel and one of my second mothers, her mom Lana

My best friend/bridesmaid Lissa and my sister/matron of honor Kristen. My sister did so much work for the shower, despite having two little boys and being really busy at work then. I can't thank her enough.

My wonderful mum, who worked very hard on the shower, too. She gave us a lovely quilt that belonged to my grandmother. Sniff.

They made me wear a floral crown thing. I hammed it up!

Our yummy cake!

With my bow bouquet (and my friend Marla's
bunny ears!) after the gifts were opened

Thank you to all the lovely ladies who attended and those who worked hard to make it happen! My grandfather passed just six days later, but we were able to carve this happy time out of our busy schedules and I know he was glad for that.

Not bad . . .

2010-05-15T11:07:00.002-04:00

Not a bad view, huh? I'm in NYC this weekend for my bachelorette party and this is the view of the Empire State building from the roof deck at my friend/bridesmaid's apartment. From the other side of the roof? Yes, Virginia, you can see all the way to the Statue of Liberty. :)

(Cross-posted at Hodoeporicon)

And so it goes . . .

2010-05-11T23:24:00.005-04:00

My apologies for not posting now for almost two weeks. On Friday night, my dear grandfather passed away after a fairly recent cancer diagnosis. I've been spending the weekend with my family, both mourning his death and celebrating his life. Will try to work my way back here soon. Thanks for your patience.

(Photo above is of my grampa, my sister, and I dancing at our beach cottage on PEI sometime in the early 1980s.)

And Another . . .

2010-04-29T07:54:00.001-04:00

Reserved listing on Etsy, that is! This is my beautiful hair piece (every time I say that, I think of a toupee) from seller mignonnehandmade. She took the original gardenia hair piece I loved (with the book leaves!) and made it smaller, about 4 inches. According to my Etsy purchases section, it's been completed and shipped. Exciting.

Last Saturday, we ordered a bunch of things besides this. I'll update soon with info on those fun purchases!

Licensed to Wed

2010-04-24T15:27:00.003-04:00

Yup, yesterday morning, we headed up to Portsmouth City Hall to get ourselves licensed to wed. It's patently less exciting than it sounds, as it just involves showing IDs and filling out some forms, but I took photos anyway.

Justin loves me, but thinks I am quite silly

Hadn't had my coffee yet, but still oddly chipper

Awwwww. I bet we annoyed the shiz out of the people there to renew their dog licenses.

This is a horrid picture of us, but it's the only one with us,

Portsmouth City Hall (or "TSMOUTH Y HALL"), and the marriage license

Not a bad view from our city hall

And, Justin's first trip to Ceres Bakery afterwards. A momentous day!

Looky!

2010-04-20T19:05:00.003-04:00

It's my very own reserved listing on Etsy! Click through and behold the sashes (in a sample color) that my girls and I will be wearing on June 26th.

I know it's just Etsy, but kinda thrilling to see my own name up there. ;)

Perspective

2010-04-15T23:30:00.000-04:00

I love this:

Lately I've been saying to him, when I've been missing him, "I love being married because, when I get frustrated because I don't see you enough, I think of all the years we have ahead of us and realise we'll just look back on this as one of those especially busy times. And I don't mind at all that way.

From the funny & honest Project Subrosa.

Invitation, Schminvitation

2010-04-10T23:06:00.012-04:00

Yeah, I don't know where I was going with that. But huzzah - our invitations are finally done and began winging their way around North America (and over to the UK) on March 31st!

It took us four days, working every free hour, to get everything printed, assembled, glued, sealed, and stamped. Yikes. But I'm really happy with the way they came out and we've gotten some really nice feedback already.

I find a nice glass of wine aids in the application of wax seals.

Seriously, who let me have alcohol whilst doing things with open flames?

Justin painstakingly gluing map-printed inserts into all of the envelopes. I'm lucky he still loves me. And that he let me post this photo of him with his shirt all unbuttoned. !!!

Come on, doesn't everyone invite the President and family to their wedding?

It took some practice, but I got to be a bad-ass at those wax seals. As a a historian, it's nice to know I've paid some eighteenth-century dues.

The full invitation suite. Please note map-printed envelope inserts in both the inner envelope and RSVP envelope. I cut all 202 and Justin glued them. If they didn't look so pretty, I'd have been really grumpy through that process.

Also - I would like to point out that the RSVP & enclosure cards came from 123 Print (our design) and the invites came from Invitation Consultants. Seeing them all laid out here, I think they look like they belong together!

Enclosure card, with wedding website address and

map from church to reception site (on reverse)

RSVP card and envelope

The most important piece - the invite with all of the details

All 101 invitations, sealed, stamped, and ready to go out!

Book of Guests, or Guestbook

2010-04-09T18:53:00.002-04:00

So our guest book came in the mail the week before last and I'm so happy with it! I ordered it from Sushi Papercraft on Etsy, who is based in Edmonton, Alberta. Hence, a pretty awesome package, complete with air mail stickers and a customs declaration on the reverse:

And here is the guest book! There are better photos of it in the original listing, but I like this shot that I took of it right out of the wrapping. It's actually a journal, but will work perfectly for a guest book - it's filled with lined pages and has a lovely coptic stich on the binding, which allows it to lay flat on a table.

Now, I have nothing against the kind of guestbook I've seen more traditionally at weddings. You know which one I mean - they usually look like this. To each his/her own. However, this is much more us. :)

Shoes, Part Two (Electric Boogaloo)

2010-04-05T22:10:00.003-04:00

Yup - those are them! My shoes came in the mail one evening the week before last and I somehow managed not to drag them out of the box and shove them on my feet immediately. I think we had something else we had to do first or somewhere else we had to go . . . can't remember.

Either way, I tried them on later in the night and they fit perfectly! The blue is lovely and matches the b-maid dresses to a T. I took some photos of the shoes not on my feet, but they ended up rather dark, so you'll have to wait for a sunny day for better ones. We've been busy lately, so have yet to try them on with the dress, but hope to do so soon. I'll be sure to post more pics then. :)

You're Invited!

2010-03-30T23:39:00.002-04:00

(to wait around patiently while we finish our invitations)

Sorry for the silence over the last few days. We've spent much of the weekend printing, assembling, stamping, and embellishing our invitations - 101 in all! Technically, 102, but we gave my parents their invite awhile ago because we wanted them to see it in person sooner.

Promise more posts this week, on the invites themselves, my shoes, and the guestbook (both of which arrived in the mail last week!). Stay tuned.

(cross-posted at Hodoeporicon)

Hair Trial, Take Two

2010-03-25T22:51:00.008-04:00

A couple of months ago, I attempted to have my first hair trial. Things didn't work out that night or with that hairdresser, but I did meet with a new hairdresser on Monday. She seemed very nice, although I think my sister's boss described her best (she's my sister's boss' hairdresser) - she's got a big personality.

She did a good job on translating the photos I'd brought along into a style that worked for me and my hair. I particularly love what she had to do to my hair to make it curly! :)

My nephew thought it was the funniest thing - he kept pointing my crazy hair out to his mama.

This is more like what I'll actually be doing. On the wedding day, she's going to bring the mass of hair further out and down, so it's more like a bun with lots of curly bits. Then, I think I'm pretty much decided on the white gardenia hairpiece, probably on the top left or right.

I'm pretty happy with it. And glad that's one more thing taken care of!

Flower Basket Fail

2010-03-24T22:50:00.003-04:00

but eventual success. I spent weeks recently scouring the internet for the perfect flower girl basket. I'm not too picky, but this kind of thing, which seems to be the most common type of flower girl basket, is just not for me.

So I was seeking a simple woven basket with a handle that I could decorate a bit. If it was a Nantucket style basket, all the better. I searched all kinds of basket wholesalers, wedding supply stores, and ebay. I eventually found a small basket that seemed like it could work for about $3. The shipping was around $6, but I still thought it was a pretty good deal.

Until I forgot to double check my ebay address and the basket was sent to my old address. Despite being assured by the local post office that packages would forward for up to a year, the package never made it to this apartment, but got sent back down to the seller on Cape Cod. Oy! Committed now, I then paid an additional $5 for the basket to be sent back up to New Hampshire. With all the shipping costs, the total for this basket ended up $15.74.

Fine, though, I thought, at least I have the basket. Hurrah! Until I opened the box. Photo of the basket below, with some books and a bud vase for scale.

Yeah. Turned out the basket was really teeny and I apparently don't pay enough attention to measurements. I don't think our then-9-year old flower girl can get her hands in there, do you?

On a whim, Justin suggested we check out Christmas Tree Shop, on the grounds that we'd seen baskets there months ago and they have everything dirt cheap. And, of course, we walk in and find a whole wall of nice Nantucket style baskets. The perfectly sized flower girl basket below? Cost us a grand total of $2.99 (no tax as we live in NH - live free or die!).

We even snagged a basket for the extra maps for $3.99.

Now, this is the story Justin tells to explain what we're talking about when we tell folks that I need to seriously let some things go and stop price-shopping already!

The Shoes

2010-03-24T00:37:00.005-04:00

I forgot to mention this last week with all the other wedding stuff that was going on, but I finally ordered my shoes! If you read my post about the shoes back in July (eight months ago!), you might know what I'm talking about. Since many of you probably didn't though, let me remind you.

These are the shoes:

And they will be dyed to match the bridesmaid dresses, which look like this:

And I think they will be beautiful. :) I'll let you know how they look in person once they arrive!

Rainy/Productive Monday

2010-03-19T15:47:00.003-04:00

The other day, Justin and I ended up home together - him on spring break, my meetings canceled due to the crappy weather. We decided to run some wedding errands. And run some wedding errands we did!

Tasks accomplished:

Changed his tux jacket style to shadow stripe (photos here)
Bought a big "S" and a big "J" for the backs of our chairs at the head table
Bought 3 spools of ribbon for various things: tying rings to ring "pillow" (which is really a big shell), tying letters to chairs, wrapping bridesmaid bouquets
Bought 2 fake rings for ring shell (since our ring bearers are aged 2 and 4, it seemed safest to entrust the real rings to the Best Man)
Bought 7 blue silk hydrangeas and 7 white silk hydrangeas for pew decorations (the latter on sale - we saved around $14 on them!)
Bought floral shears for silk and fresh flower arranging
Bought a wooden trunk/suitcase for a card box
Bought a few other odds & ends, some of which cannot be revealed here in case b-maids are reading :)

It was a busy & productive day!

Dress Drama, Over!

2010-03-17T22:16:00.000-04:00

On Monday, Justin and I walked out the door of our apartment to head out to various stores. As we did, I remembered that my dress was supposed to be delivered that day and said, "Hey - no dress yet . . . " and trailed off. The box was leaning against the outside of the door. Yay!

When we got home, I took the dress out of its box and garment bag - it was the right color! Checked the tag - it was the right size! Tried it on - it fit like a dream. While still knocking on wood, I think I can safely say that the dress drama is pretty much over. :)

Plus, what I didn't tell you before was how wonderful the J. Crew bridal staff at the SoHo store were. I got the dress on sale (for $200) last year when I first bought it. I suspected with the size exchange that I'd have to pay the current price, which was $295. However, after my wrong-color dress debacle, I think the gods at J. Crew decided to smile on me. In the end, the SoHo store staff (say that three times fast!) sold me the dress for the original $200 sale price AND waived the $13.50 shipping. Truly awesome.

Etsy Love, Part Two

2010-03-16T18:43:00.000-04:00

You all already know this, because I posted about it a few months ago, but I really heart Etsy. Think about their mission statement for a second and I dare you not to love the idea:

Our mission is to enable people to make a living making things, and to reconnect makers with buyers. Our vision is to build a new economy and present a better choice: Buy, Sell, and Live Handmade.

How can you not love that? After spending more than a year so far planning our wedding, I've seen so many mass-produced, cookie-cutter wedding items. And so the idea of spending reasonable money for a talented, creative artist to custom-create things for our wedding - it fills me with glee.

Here are some of the things that we've bought from Etsy so far.

Poetry cufflinks, from Tilly Bloom (a present for Justin to wear with his tux on the big day)
Brass locket, from dollarsupplies (I'm going to put black & white photos of my late grandmothers in this and pin it to my bouquet)
Vintage grey lace, from vidalbuttons (I'm going to wrap my bouquet with this lovely lace - I've been in love with grey lace and pearls lately)
Map journal, from SushiPapercraft (our guestbook, featuring a map of the Americas from the 1600s on the front & back covers)

Here are some of the things on our Etsy "to-buy" list:

seller deciduousoul is making four of these seam-binding flowers, one in blue and three in ivory, for me & my maids to wear on sashes around our waists
our wedding bands, except ours will be made in white gold. I love these so much . . .

And just found this the other night, but strongly considering it in lieu of a separate veil & flower fascinator: white gardenia hairpiece with vintage book leaves. Vintage book leaves, people!!!

If you're given a great thing, why do anything else?

2010-03-15T13:23:00.007-04:00

Words of wisdom. Mr. Groom and I currently live in a gorgeous 1860s-built brick house that's been converted into apartments. And the following images are from the foyer of the house. And since we live on the first floor, this beautiful foyer is right outside our door. Why wouldn't we take our before-the-ceremony pictures* here?!?

*Yes, we've decided to take the formal photos beforehand. We'd already planned to see each other before, then we realized that if we did all the formal photos then, we'd have more time at the cocktail hour. :)

Also - our house is 5 houses down from the church. So we'll have some people get ready here, we'll take lots of pretty pictures, and then we'll walk down the street to the church. Done & done.

The Most Calm Bachelorette Party Ever

2010-03-06T23:10:00.005-05:00

Ahhh. This is what it's like to have friends who know you so well that you barely have to tell them what you want, and they provide it. After a few email exchanges, my two best friends/bridesmaids have planned a lovely weekend in New York City for my bachelorette party.

We'll be staying at my friend R's apartment (I think she's kicking out her boyfriend for the weekend) and the main event will be a nice dinner out on Saturday night at Landmarc Restaurant at the Time Warner Center. This is the one thing I really wanted - a nice long dinner with lots of wine and some of my favorite ladies in the world.

The girls all know me pretty well, so I'm not expecting tiaras or boas or anything shaped like the reproductive organs of the male of the human species (that's the most PG way I could think of to state it). I'm just really looking forward to getting to spend some time with these lovely ladies in NYC!

Wer & Wif's Flying Circus

2010-03-06T15:09:00.006-05:00

Sorry I've been a bit quiet this week. On Tuesday night, I had a bit of a freak-out, break-down, what-have-you about the wedding. Pretty sure at one point, I threw up my hands, yelled "Our wedding is turning into a three-ring circus, and I'm the god damned ringmaster!" and let loose with a short bout of tears. Yeah.

I'm trying to regroup and figure out what caused the breakdown and what we can do to fix things. A lot of it stems from something I'm going to call, for the moment at least, "DIY bride overload." This is where your typical creative, practical bride-to-be jumps headfirst into wedding planning and things are going along swimmingly until WHAM! All of the things that were extra work, but still so cool and can we do it please? . . . suddenly seem overwhelming and unnecessary. That's where I am now.

BUT. As my lovely future husband reminded me, we have three and some-odd months left. There's still plenty of time to scale back and make things a little easier on ourselves. So over the next week or two, I'm committing myself to reevaluating all the "extras" and determining their true worth. Some of these evaluations will be easy - Do we need s'mores at the reception? That's a resounding yes. Do we need a trolley to ferry every guest between the church, reception site, and their hotel? Maybe not so much . . .

Stay tuned for the results!

Scottish Hilltop Elopement

2010-03-05T22:41:00.003-05:00

This is beautiful. And just what the doctor ordered. I'll reveal why tomorrow.

In the meantime, thanks to the lovely Meg at A Practical Wedding for this sublime image.

Dress Drama

2010-03-02T19:49:00.007-05:00

So whathadhappenedwas . . .

I bought my dress (dress #1 for those of you following along at home) last winter. However, I've gone up a dress size in the interim and called J. Crew customer service a few weeks ago to see if I could exchange my dress for a larger size. The rep with whom I spoke agreed to the exchange and charged the new dress to my credit card, but neglected to tell me how to return the original dress.

The new dress (dress #2) came the following week and it fit perfectly! However (and this is a big however), it was the wrong color! The packing slip said ivory, but the dress was clearly champagne. Oy vey!

The solution, derived after weeks of emailing back and forth with a wedding specialist at the J. Crew SoHo store? I shipped dress #1 to J. Crew in New York, provided they agreed to waive the shipping cost on the dress (dress #3) that I will order directly from my contact in SoHo to avoid any warehouse screw-ups. I returned the champagne dress (#2) in a straight return to J. Crew returns processing.

I think things are settled now, but I can't wait for the right dress in the right size and color to be in our apartment!

PMC #1

2010-03-01T23:11:00.001-05:00

What, what? What the heck is PMC #1? Well, first, I would like you to take a moment to appreciate the lack of wedding-related acronyms in your life. The ladies in the crowd who were recently married know what I'm talking about (I'm looking at you, K).

In the wedding planning world, especially on the internet, there are a multitude of wedding acronyms. From FMIL to DOC to STD*, it's an endless waterfall of shortened names for things. Let me add one more to the list - PMC. Short for Pre-Marital Counseling, of course.

Anywho, we had our first session of said counseling with our minister yesterday. Rev. M. pastors a congregation near my parents' house up at the lake, so we went to see them on Saturday night, then met with him on Sunday afternoon. The session went well, I think. We discussed logistical things like dates and times and length of ceremony (no longer than 45 minutes, for those of you who share my ADD).

After some of that was done, we segued into the "counseling" part of the session. Rev. M's goal is to get us thinking about and talking about various issues in the lead-up to the wedding in order to strengthen our relationship. Justin and I are pretty good at honestly tackling all manner of topics, but it helps to have a knowledgeable someone there to ask us blunt questions like, "So, Justin, why are you marrying Stacey?"

I think the future sessions will help us process our thoughts regarding the wedding and the marriage we're building together. And this is a good thing! So huzzah for the PMC.

*Future Mother in Law, Day Of Coordinator, and Save The Date, for the blissfully ignorant.

Message in a Bottle, Yeah

2010-02-26T23:04:00.000-05:00

My awesome mother sent me this idea from Yankee Magazine the other day: Photo Bottles (image above from article).

I think it's a great way to have some old family photos in the wedding decor without worrying about buying more frames (which can get costly). I also think it looks kind of like a "message in a bottle" so it fits perfectly with the nautical theme! Good work, Mum. :)

No Wonder Brides Worry . . .

2010-02-19T21:13:00.007-05:00

So, I was looking over a list of 13 "beauty don'ts" on The Knot the other day and five of them were just . . . frightening. Eight of them were just fine, mind you, but five of them made me want to drive to The Knot's offices, hold up the list, and say in a calm, measured tone, "Really?!? This is what you think I should be worrying about on the day I marry the love of my life? Priorities, people!"

Without further ado, here are the offenders. I refuse to provide commentary, as their silliness should be self-evident. ;) I will say, though, that I think the last one is the worst by far. Now we have to know how to weep correctly???

1. Don't drink wine or eat dark-colored foods like berries.

Unless you want to capture a stained smile in your wedding photos, you should avoid foods that can tint your pearly whites. To get 'em extra pearly, invest in a professional teeth-whitening service. On a strict budget? "Crest Whitestrips work magic!" says Melissa Roshan of Make-Up by Melissa Roshan in Columbus, Ohio. "Start any whitening regime about one month before the wedding."

6. Don't ingest excess sodium the week before the wedding.

That means no salty foods, sauces, dressings, or salty deli meats. Instead, choose low- or no-sodium everything starting at least seven days before the wedding. "Sodium holds 50 times its weight in water, so you can shed two to five pounds the week before the wedding just by doing this!" says Liz DiAlto of Fit, Healthy and Beautiful in New York City.

8. Don't sit around in your bra the morning of your wedding.

Makeup artist and hair stylist Nicole Francavilla, of Beauty by Nicole in Orange County, New York, says this is the best way to avoid those unsightly pink indents on your back and shoulders (especially if you're wearing a strapless dress!). And if you're wearing your hair up but don't wear your hair up often? "My suggestion is to take an Advil with your breakfast to eliminate the possibility of an updo headache," she says.

11. Don't forget to touch up!

It's okay to be a little high-maintenance -- bring a touch-up bag and actually use the products at the reception. "You may have hired the best makeup and hair professionals you could find, but if you're cutting a rug on the dance floor and drinking Champagne like France is going dry, chances are you'll break a little sweat and your lip color will wear off," says Chicago-based makeup artist Adriana Aude.

12. Don't cry off all your beautiful makeup!

Tears will happen, so it's important to know how to weep correctly. "Hold a tissue in each hand. Then press the tissues in the tear duct and let the tears run into the tissue -- and keep changing the tissue," says Catherine Sullivan of Fresh Face Chicago. "This keeps you from rubbing your face and eyes and ruining your beautiful face."

"I Think They Have a Very Happy Life Ahead of Them"

2010-02-17T15:52:00.003-05:00

Haha, I love this. Bridezilla much? (click on it to biggify, although be warned - the language is colorful!)

Justin, I promise not to be like this! Although, just for fun, I named this season's fantasy baseball team "The Bridezillas." ;)

Non-traditional Ceremony Songs

2010-02-16T00:17:00.004-05:00

In some ways, ours will be a traditional wedding. We are getting married in a religious ceremony in a church, I am wearing a white (well, ivory) dress, etc. etc.

In some ways, though, we are most assuredly not. The groom and his male attendants will be sporting Chucks, Justin's female friend is serving as "groomswoman," etc. etc. When it comes to ceremony music, I'm leaning more towards the non-traditional side of the scale. "The Wedding March" and "Pachelbel's Canon" are all well & good, but they're far from original. And in the end, what should our wedding be if not original and our own?

So, here are my thoughts at present. These may easily change before June, but I'm happy with them for now.

Processional for ring bearers, flower girl, and bridesmaids: "All You Need is Love." I dearly love the trumpets in the beginning and it's a good length (I think) for everyone to get down the aisle before we change over to my song. And come on - it's the Beatles! Telling us all we need is love! It's perfect.

Our recessional song will be "Sunny Side of the Street" by The Pogues. Justin introduced me to The Pogues when we started dating. A lot of their stuff is . . . well, perhaps inappropriate for a church is the right way to say it. However, this song sounds lovely, happy, and upbeat (though the lyrics are a bit otherwise). I see it as a wonderful celebration of being announced husband & wife!

Now, the bridal processional has been a bit trickier. I want a song that's dramatic without being pretentious, classic without being boring, and appropriate without being dry as toast. All in the first 30-60 seconds. ;)

Here are the current contenders:

"On the Sunny Side of the Street," by Louis Armstrong:

"Suffragette City" or "Rebel, Rebel," both by David Bowie

And the current top contender - "Wake Up" by Arcade Fire. It's been used a lot lately (in the trailer for "Where the Wild Things Are, on recent NFL commercials), but I really like it and especially like the first 30 or 40 seconds, which is all we'll probably end up using.

Anyone have any thoughts/suggestions/questions?

(cross-posted at Hodeporicon, just for funsies)

Invitations - Check!

2010-02-15T10:33:00.005-05:00

The invitations - they have been ordered! After months of thinking about these and saving designs to my 123 Print & Invitation Consultant accounts, I finally bit the bullet and ordered them yesterday.

We'd like to get them in the mail by March 19th (3 months and 1 week before the wedding), so I want them in the door well before that in case of any issues and to give us time to address them! So ordered they have been and they should arrive at the end of February or the beginning of March.

Here they are, with anonymization where appropriate.

The main invitation - dark blue, simple & clean, with a sweet sailboat at the top

The RSVP card - I did these through 123 Print, but used the sailboat image from the main invitation to match them. I think (hope) the RSVP design is clear for wedding guests.

The front of the enclosure card - the sailboat logo again & the link to our wedding website. After spending lots of time filling that site with helpful content, I hope people use it!

And the back of the enclosure card - a Google map of the route between the church & the reception site. The two are only about four miles apart, but it never hurts to supply people with more information when it comes to directions!

Our guest list includes 103 households, which means we couldn't order sets of 100 for everything. I think we ended up ordering 125 main invites, 125 RSVP cards, and 150 enclosure cards. In the end, that works out fine, because it's good to have extras in case we mess any up & I wanted some extra maps to leave out for guests at the church. Now, fingers are crossed that the invites will be printed properly & error-free when they arrive!

Happy Valentine's Day!

2010-02-14T12:49:00.005-05:00

Happy Valentine's Day to one & all, in honor of my parents. Next Wednesday, my parents will be celebrating their 30th wedding anniversary. This year, Valentine's and their anniversary are a little tough to celebrate, as my mother had hip surgery two days ago. Not that they're not going to recognize the occasions - Dad is bringing a Valentine's surprise to the hospital later today and they're planning to get Chinese for their anniversary to avoid cooking - but it's not ideal.

However, their relationship is one of the loving, committed ones I was blessed to grow up around. After thirty years, two daughters, two sons-in-law (well, almost), two grandsons, and the loss of three parents, it's easy to see how very much they still love each other and how important they are to each other. On Superbowl Sunday, they were sitting at one end of the couch at their friends' house, tickling each other. At 53!!! And I thought to myself, "If Justin and I can be like that at their age, we'll be very lucky indeed." Love you, Mum & Dad!

(cross-posted at Hodoeporicon)

Clothes Make the Man

2010-02-06T23:46:00.005-05:00

Or men, in this case. Just teasing, guys!

As I mentioned in my "wedding week recap" the other day, Justin and I went to Mens Wearhouse recently and picked out his tuxedo ensemble. However, we took the tie and shoes off the package, because we have other plans for those . . . See below for the whole ensemble, from the shirt out & down!

Point collar shirt - will be in ivory, but this photo is of a white shirt,

because that's all they had on the website!

A seriously awesome tie from Cyberoptix. It's called "Topographical Error" and it shows "distressed remnants of 1900's sea-depth estimates taken in Scandinavian and Arctic waters. These levels are rapidly changing now due to climactic shift." We might get the ties dyed to match the b-maid dresses, but I haven't yet decided if that's worth caring about. ;)

Herringbone print vest, in silver. It's a dark silver, which is why we picked it.

No super-shiny 80s vests here, thanks!

A classic Calvin Klein two-button jacket in a lightweight wool

And the piece de resistance - good old Chuck Taylors in royal blue. Some brides I've seen around the blogosphere are apparently appalled at the idea of letting the groom and groomsmen wear chucks for the wedding, but to be honest, I think this was my idea when we decided on it months ago.

So, in the end, I think it's a nice mix of traditional stuff - tux, shirt, vest - and funky stuff - tie, chucks. Exactly the way we like it.